I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize