it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
