I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
