kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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