you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
