Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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