A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
