I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Boobs are out for the taking
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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