I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
