Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
