OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
