haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
