We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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