positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
