What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
