How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Will exercising make me less horny?
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