Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's always time for handjobs
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
