this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
