: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
