super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize