I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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