She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
