Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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