thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
