Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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