is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
