I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
