I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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