that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
