If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You took a bar mat shot.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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