I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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