it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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