i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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