i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
