I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
