It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
