It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
