and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
