I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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