a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
