do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
