just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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