You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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