I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think pants incapable of making pants work
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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