wakey wakey hands off snakey
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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