ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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