Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
