He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
