I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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