I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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