Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
