People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
