I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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