love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
