Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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