he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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