check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
