brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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